Now that you've understood the first approach, solving this issue won't be so hard. Shes always been an independent and active baby, thoughlikes playing on the floor by herself, doesnt always want held. Have someone other than mom do the feeding 2. We may not do much and I am stern when it comes to bad behavior but she cries a lot and asks where daddy is. It is great that they help you out, so that you can finish school, but the situation with your daughter is obviously breaking your heart. Pace yourself, with paced feeding. So once him and I began dating his daughters mother began using the daughter as leverage to get things in return for him to spend time with his daughter. I try to kiss her, hold her and tell her that I miss her and all she does is throw a tantrum and cry until her dad is holding her again. I have been her sole provider since then, her father and I are no longer together, though she sees him often, but she seems to recognize him and holds her hands out to him and is so happy when he comes. I know shes only 6 months but shes not loving at all towards me..If i try to hug her and cuddle she pushes and screams and kicks, she would rather go to anyone but me.i treat her like an angel and I dont understand why she doesnt seem to love me.. Shes a really happy smiley baby. But to love a child DESPITE feeling downright unloved back is extraordinary, seriously. It may be because she may be spoiled to the phase of a daddys girl, or it may be you. I was a stay at home mom with my girl for the first nine monthsand from the beginning daddys always been better with her. So thanks for speaking up! It really hurts. I guess what really hurts my feelings is that when she is home is her dad and then I come home, she could care less. Who would have thought that a tiny little mite like her could devestate me. Here's what we tried, and what finally worked! If there is anything I can do to change this me let me know?I love my son so much I dont know what I did to him for him to start this. He even says lots of words including daddy, bruh bruh for his brother, nana, papa, juice, more, he even says my niece and nephews names, Michael and Mattie, but he has never said momma! I am not working and its just because of her that i am not working. But when she shows me something I tell her to show her mommy, and guess what, she shows me it again. but when my wife is around, Im nobody, she wont come to me, no kisses or hugs, she will scream and cry for mum to hold her, especially if I pick her up. Try to stay bright and relaxed, it really WILL get better. I do everything for her but she does not know that I am her mother. my in-laws dun understand wen i tells them. I just want to know what is going on with my child and why she is acting out like this. Most likely, your son is going through a phase when he is turning out towards the world. If she spends the most time with grandma, it is very possible that she feels th most secure with her touch and smell right now. I have no idea what to do I play with her, I am the person that teaches her everything she knows, I am the one who gets up in the night to comfort her, I am the one preparing food and doing all the motherly things that need doing cuddling and playing but she still doesnt want me most of the time. she enjoys talking to him on a phone. That does NOT mean that the baby doesnt love dad (or mom in your case), but simply that she is a developmental stage where she mainly can handle showing love to one person at the time. In fact she would scream and cry I will always take her out of her room and try to pacify her. she doesnt want him to hold her or talk to him. Weekends too. At the moment we are living in India with my husband and his parent, my son seems to be attached to them more than me. Assess your breastfeeding status If your baby is just a few weeks old and you must return to work, you may feel breastfeeding is not yet well established. this is not your fault. The situation must be painful for you. I hope its just a phase. These little fellows are learning that they are separate persons from mom, which they didnt know before and they find it very scary. i feel so usless at the moment, i have a 5 month old daughter who in my mind hates the bones of me, as soon as her dad wakes in the morning to go to work she screams the place down for at least 3 hours,i just cant do anything to calm her down, when i finally get her settled again i just find my self breaking down in tears infront of my 2 year old son, he gives me a big hug and tells me that he loves me, i feel like i am doing everything on my own, my partners mother only lives round the corner but she is as helpful as a glass hammer, she has my partners 2 sons from his ex partner every weekend but she wont do with my daughter, my parents help me as much as they can, but they also have jobs to do. Try bub sitting facing away from the caregiver. A stock image of a woman waving goodbye to her son and a small child. But those 6 weeks were rough for everyone involved, and baby's gotta eat! For a few weeks before my mat leave ended, I let myself soak in all the pre-emptive nostalgia, mourning all of our "lasts": our last mat-leave breakfast, our last mat-leave walk, our last mat-leave . Best of luck. Eventually I had to admit that this was not helping either her or me and quit with breastfeeding, something that hurts me to my core. :**(, Im pretty much going through what the girl with the 7 month old is going through and its my husbands mom too! Hi sad dad, What he really needs might be to have more fun and more time with his dad. It is a short time when our children really need us as badly as when they are babies and young toddlers. My husband sees him an hour per day if that and goes out of town a lot. This will not affect your long-term relationship in any way, as long as you can stay cool about it. Even worse, today my husband and I took her to the baby classes, she suddenly refused me to hold her and wanted my husband only. my daughter is now one year old and our bond has strengthened. Is it common that a baby rejects mom after going back to work? I feel left out. Allow a drip or two go into your baby's mouth, then try to insert the bottle nipple into your baby's mouth. Im a 26 yr old dad. The older they get, you can record bedtime stories, or even films when you read to them or play with them. There are a few things I would like to say to you. Or give me some advice so she wont freak out on me like she does? Even if its only by God and me I suppose. She is not a competitor and never will be only you are his mom! If you are off balance, she might notice and you thereby reinforce the rejection. Try feeding in a close and cuddled up position. I cant imagine how hard it must be to have lived with this with your daughter for years. Babies and moms dont automatically bond; just like anyone else they need to spend time together. Dont let this woman take your child. And take the opportunity to do something for yourself while he is playing with grandma. hi.. i am a mother of 6 month old twin boys. The earlier you start looking, the better. everyday i am in tears..cant work ..cant sleep..no peace. my husband always gets out and travel, but when he gets home, my boys are so excited to see him. He tells me he wants me to leave and daddy to stay. She breaks her back trying to look for him when he leaves the room. (And no chords these evening until your baby is asleep! He squirms out of my arms and nearly vaults himself into my husbands arms when my husband walks past us. Hi my 9 1/2 month old boy is with me all day since birth now daddy is home with me since he got laid off I do everything for him. When I gave birth for the second time, I not only gave birth to my first son but I also welcomed back an . One thing's for sure: he wants nothing to do with you. Children are not there to build our self-esteem, they cant and often wont, especially if we expect them to act in a certain way, or to be thankful or loving, because we treat them well. My youngest daughter is almost 2 years old. But my 14month old is obsessed with his dad and it totally kills me. But 3 weeks ago I got hospitalized. i completely agree with you and also want to add that our love and care is imprinting our children on a sub-concious level. Other babies become extremely attached to that person any time she or he is around. But the emotional part of me feels devastated. this time we were alone in the room. Quick message to Laura- Not a good feeling. My 9-mth old baby boy is doing the same to me too. So it did happen, but it took awhile and, like I wrote before, he still prefers my partner maybe 60-70% of the time (again only when the stark choice is between us only). I wanted to say thank you to those who shared their stories and especially to those whose answers said what is more motherly than to UNCONDITIONALLY love their child, no matter what response they may be giving me. Its hard for me to deal with this feeling, but being sad about this hasnt helped at this point. Please help if you have passed this phase. And with every shared experience and every bit of advice I felt more and more comfort.Thank you so much for making me feel better, restoring my faith in myself as a mom. I just left my 4-month-old son for the first time overnight with my parents. Maybe cuddle up the three of you in her bed for a little story or lullaby? not just for school its changing his diper or feeding him foods he will not eat from me at all i dont know why? And I really hope that this is just a phase that she is going through. My mom realizes and tries to reduce it a little, but to no avail. Our third daughter cant seem to stand me and it is really breaking my heart. You sound beyond sad, really despairing. This always triggers a post traumatic stress response in me and takes me back that awful dark place it sounds like you are in. there were times that she slept with my caretaker before i got home to take her to our room could it be this? Leaning back while breastfeeding helps slow the flow. Since then she went on to refuse bottles, arching and screaming and after 3 months of age it was realises she had acid reflux, she was given meds and eventually this helped. He doesnt kiss, hug or cuddle with me. I am searching high and low for a place away from her. A scary thought! The worst thing is that when my husband holds him, he snuggles and cuddles into his daddy and smiles and babbles, and my heart just breaks. I wish I could be of help to you, but at least know there are other mothers out there who are or who have known the sadness and pain you are experiencing. Hope this gives someome some encouragement Things really do get better with time. No phone, no talking to your wife, no planning of the next day at work. I will try that and let everyone know how it goes. It did not used to be this way she used to be very attached to me. If it is fairly new maximum 1 year or so what is going on is actually a completely natural development stage in your daughters life. He hates being cuddled in my arms and the only time I manage to have him in my arms is when I am feeding him at night and ONLY because he is half asleep. She wouldnt even look at me when I tried to comfort her. Please help! But then I realized that I dont give that to each of my children every day at all. Thank you for letting us know that things got better, it has made all the difference to me. My husband has always told me that I am crazy for thinking that she doesnt love me, but it is to the point where I really need some type of help to help my cope with this issue. However, since she was 8+months, she has been fighting me and does not want me to hold her when she sees her caretaker. I have only returned this week to work after 11 months off with my 11 month old baby girl. Everyone has told me that boys love their mommy and Im sure he does but I wish he didnt do that because like the other moms on this site, it really hurts my feelings. If she is secure enough to bond with your mother this quickly, chances are that the bond between you and your daughter will also happen very naturally and grow strong. i feel sad and discouraged i know that i shouldnt show it to her.. but i often wonder where i went wrong. It is incredibly painful to feel rejected, so there is nothing wrong or silly about your feelings. There are studies showing that babies that are being held a lot actually become independent faster. Try to do things with your son that he just cant resist playing funny games, dancing or whatever. 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